Emotions Archives - Mridula Singh

Awareness March 22, 2020

Quarantine and productivity crisis

The entire world is stalled right now. We never presumed that we could land up in such a situation where gyms, offices, transport, and restaurants would be shut for days. Here are my thoughts on the productivity crisis during quarantine one of the major feeling I’m overcoming at present.

While governments and researchers are trying to make things better, most of us are either working remotely or not working at all.

This could have been our ideal getaway from the daily hustle. Where we did not have to work towards anything and relax at home. Since, we did not plan for this, some of us are left feeling unproductive, even the ones who were waiting for a break to work on some projects or ideas.

We are wired to work and move from one task to another. So now, when we see this sudden change disrupting everyday lifestyle, we don’t know how to function. I spoke to many people during this time, and everyone is feeling the similar guilt of being unproductive during quarantine.

In times like this, most of us are overwhelmed by the news and the numbers of increasing cases and deaths. Therefore, it is okay to let go of the pressure of being productive.

laziness during quarantine creating productivity crisis

You do not have to read every book on the bookshelf right now.
You do not have to produce more content.
You do not have to start that hobby.
You do not have to create something new.
You do not have to work out each day.
You do not have to finish all your pending chores.
You do not have to exercise more.
You do not have to cook masterpieces.
It is okay to slow down and not feel guilty about it.

While there’s a list of activities that I can share, to make the most of these days (and I might), but Hey! You don’t have to make the most of it.

Stay positive, take care of your health, these are the only things that matter right now. You don’t have to be creative for the sake of it.

Create art when you feel aligned with the feeling of creating it.

Don’t let the pressure of being productive make you feel worse during this time. We are all in this together, and we are all uncertain. But, we will get through this.

Be patient with yourself and your craft. Don’t force yourself to be creative or productive.

Emotions October 1, 2019

From Expectance to Acceptance…

When I was in school, we were asked to say the serenity prayer which included the beautiful lines

‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change and the courage to change the things I can’.

Now when I read these words, they make much more sense to me than they did before as most of the times the reason for our distress is worrying about the things we can’t change. This one line is also the best lesson for creating Inner Peace.

Just think of it. If we could stop worrying about the things we can’t change how different will our mental state would be. Think about the issues that are bothering you the most right now.

Most of the times we are stressing over things which are out of our hands as if worrying about them will magically make them go away. There are also regrets from the past and the worries of the future which takes a lot of room in our mind.

This not only applies to the circumstances. Many of the times, we feel negative or upset because of the behaviour of the people around us. If we could accept them for who they are, it will ease our misery.

Accepting others for who they are

We find ourselves struggling with the negativity we get from the actions of others because we expect them to behave differently. But, you can only find peace if you choose to stay away from them or accept them for who they are. If you stay in the middle and expect the others to act the way you want them to then you are inviting more hurt in your life.

If we start counting our reasons to be stressed the things that we cannot control will outnumber the things we can control. Stressing about something before it actually takes place, makes you go through it multiple times instead of once.

Now, if you are in a similar situation and are worrying about the things which are out of your control then practice the following:

1) Close your eyes and take a deep breath

2) Start by forgiving all the people who hurt you

3) Think about the obstacles which are bothering you and imagine them in the form of balloons that you are holding.

4) Now gradually let go of these balloons one by one and watch them shrinking as they float away.

5) Acknowledge that you are giving these away, and now it is up to Universe to take care of them.

6) Give thanks to the Universe (or something / someone that you acknowledge to be the higher power).

7) Accept the present and let the universe take care of you.

Repeat this exercise each time you are aware of the nonacceptance which is causing you to stress.

Emotions October 1, 2019

The worst friend I’ve had

Not a long time ago, I had a very close friend who continually kept reminding me of all the mistakes that I have ever made in my life.

She never let me feel good about myself for a long time. Each time I was ready for a big event or started to feel good, she would remind of my imperfect body or how I was not pretty enough to feel this way.

She would go out of her way to compare me with the girls she saw on magazines, and she had a big problem with how I wasn’t successful, beautiful, and talented enough.

You would be wondering, why would I put up with her after all this?

Have you had such a friend in your life? That one friend, for whom you were never adequate?

Photo by **Juan Pablo Arenas** from **Pexels**

For me, that friend was my inner voice and how it would regularly remind me of my failures. It is funny how we look around for excuses, but the only person to be blamed for our unhappiness is ourselves.

We are so critical of ourselves that we cannot even stand in front of the mirror for more than 25 seconds without pointing out the flaws in our bodies. We are our worst frenemies, always there to remind ourselves of the things we could not do.

We tend to think that the presence of someone else in our life will make it better. It will make us happier or give us the validation that we are seeking.

A few years ago, I made a promise to myself that I will love myself endlessly and will always be there to pick up the pieces each time I will fall apart. My perception of looking at life transformed after making that promise.

No longer was I wishing to feel accepted, because I accepted and loved myself for all that I am.

I started making more mindful choices about the friendships and relationships I had.

Once I was ready to accept myself completely, it got easier for me to accept people for who they were. It made it easier for me to let go of the people who were toxic or did not respect my boundaries, without keeping a grudge or negative attitude towards them.

If we are not kind to ourselves, we will continue to have people in our circle who would keep making us feel guilty and drained.

People come and go, but in the end, it is our relationship with ourselves, which dictates our relationship with the people around us.

Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas from Pexels

Emotions October 1, 2019

Are you Stressed or just Overthinking?

Last few weeks have been full of gatherings, and it has been a fun but EXHAUSTING experience. But, here is the delightful experience which drove me to write this blog.

During dinner, on a Saturday night, the ever exciting topic of Stress came up. I have mentioned it in my book, how people think that Stress is an inseparable part of their daily life. One interesting question came up where Someone mentioned knowing that Stress is unhealthy but, it is difficult to distinguish the time which is being spent stressing, from the time being consumed in simply thinking about things.

Do you know? If you stay near the garbage long enough, it will eventually stop smelling.

Yes, this is what stress does, initially you get stressed and you know, but if you stay with this feeling consistently then, there comes a stage where you can no longer feel the difference; this means, that you are constantly worrying, even for the littlest thing.

How to know if it is stress?

Think about one person that you absolutely adore it can be your sibling, a family member, your lover, your friend, your pet or your own self.
Imagine being in their presence and having a good time with them, does it make you feel relaxed? Loosen up a little? Does this thought make you smile?

Now, notice the difference between this feeling and your usual thinking pattern. If you observe a considerable shift in energy then, you are stressed in the day to day life. Even a small thought grows up in your mind and creates disturbance, and now worrying is a habit.

Practice makes stress stay. The more you focus on things that worry you, the more your mind drags your attention towards the conditions which will lead to further tension.

So, if you think that you are no longer able to differentiate between the two, then it is time to change the way your mind is thinking.

Photo by Ümit Bulut on Unsplash

Emotions October 1, 2019

Things Jealousy taught me

Emotions like Jealousy and anger can teach us a lot if we give them a chance.

Jealousy is one amazing teacher that I met. On few occasions in the past, I found myself comparing my life to someone else’s and tried to justify in my mind how my life was better than theirs.

Gradually, critical judgement towards others and their work, started increasing. I would hardly be impressed with other’s accomplishments. At times, I would even try to do things better.

Before I went too far with it, the little voice in me who was getting burdened with these feelings asked me to ‘shut up and reflect’. reflect on what was causing this behaviour to arise.

I found some very interesting facts about Jealousy.

It creeps up when we lack love for a particular aspect of our own existence.

When we are confident about one area of our lives, we feel admiration for the people who possess the same quality. For example, I was confident about my work and therefore, I was always happy when I saw someone putting in the same amount of work, but, things were not the same when I saw someone having a great time out with their friends.

But why would I feel bad about someone else getting the things that are important to me as well ?

Because, I lacked love for myself in that area. I was not confident or content about my life outside of work. It was not because I did not have great friends, I was just denying my need of getting out there and letting myself loose once in a while. It was my excuse to stay in my comfort zone, and to not interact with the world.

Once I started putting in efforts on my life outside of work, on my relationships with my friends and started being more comfortable with putting myself out there. I was content with my life. I didn’t start partying every night, but I did not judge or got jealous of the people who were having a great time.

Jealousy is hard to accept

It is a courageous thing to accept that you feel jealous of another individual. Acceptance of jealousy also reveals what we truly desire. It highlights a part of us which needs more love. Acceptance of jealousy helps us look out for answers and ways to resolve it.

Resolving Jealousy

It can be resolved by working towards our relationship with the part that we do not love enough. Identifying that I needed more love and contentment in my personal life was the first step. The next step, was to cherish and to be thankful for the people who were in my life. I learned to love myself for who I was when I was not in office.

Jealousy eats you up and makes you look suspiciously at this world, it will also create more negative experiences because of a negative mindset. But, by learning what it is trying to teach us we can transform our lives.

Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash

Emotions October 1, 2019

Loving your Imperfect Self

How do you deal with the process of getting from where you are to where you want to be?

In a lot of cases, we do not participate in the process gracefully, which leads to an unhealthy transformation or an incomplete process.

We usually start our dissing our current self in order to get to the desired place.

Going from one state of existence to another involves a process.

This process needs to be completed from a place of love, or else it could give us unwanted results, or we may even end up leaving the process in the middle if it causes us grief.

Therefore, when you decide to develop yourself in a better person, you should not start hating your current self.

In the process of trying to lose weight, most of us start hating our bodies and follow the process with hatred towards ourselves, and punish our body for it. This creates an imbalance, and we may end up hurting our bodies in the process.

To learn any new skill you need a process. Remember when you decided to learn dancing, cooking, or singing, you followed a process. Did you judge yourself, or hate yourself when you did not know how to cook? Or dance? You just said that you will learn more and enhance your skill.

Did you start cussing yourself for being in ‘Grade 1’ on your way to graduation? No, right? So why do you put so much pressure on your imperfect self in the process of reaching to desired self?

Similarly, when we try to make more money, we start hating our current earning or existence. It creates an emotional gap in our connection to ourselves.

This emotional gap does not result in healthy transformation, and you are likely to get back to your old ways, or you may achieve the desired results, but you will not be in a happy place emotionally.

How would you react if someone asked you to do the right thing, forcefully? Their intentions may be nice, but how would you feel if a teacher punished you physically to achieve good grades?

We grow best in the in the places we feel loved.

When we are brought up in a loving environment where we feel trusted, we bloom the best. Having a partner who loves and trusts us, can bring out the best in us. We can be that partner for ourselves, we can love ourselves on this journey to become the best version of ourselves.

So when you want your body and mind to work with you in harmony, you have to give them love along the way. Thank yourself for choosing to take on this journey and for consistently evolving into a better person.

Loving yourself can make your transformation process a wonderful experience, rather than a torturous one.

So Love your imperfect self.