Life Archives - Mridula Singh

Life March 11, 2023

Overstimulated and Overwhelmed: How to Focus in a world of Social media

If there is a word that I could use for almost everyone around me, it would be hyper-stimulated.
It has been a long time since I saw someone who was only walking or just having a conversation. Nowadays, we meet people only to get lost in our phones together.
It is not always a bad thing to scroll aimlessly now and again as it can take our minds off many things. However, it can mess us up if we make it a habit. We have accepted that it is inevitable that we will look at our phones first thing in the morning.
While it can cause significant mental health issues, and lead to loss of time and productivity. What I fear the most is the loss of our ability to THINK. When we excessively focus on absorbing the way others live and their opinions, we run the risk of losing touch with our own unique identity and perspective. So much information about other people and their lives and ongoing propaganda is designed to keep us from thinking for ourselves. It keeps us from evaluating our own aspirations, leaving no space for our original thoughts to exist.
We are a creature of habit and once we enter this vicious cycle of aimless scrolling, it gets difficult to turn back.
We waste Time, just because we can.
Too much information can lead to Brain Fog, and to deal with it we scroll some more. We feel drained, tired, and aimless; and the cycle continues.

Did you really need all that information in the first place?

What Can you do if you find yourself struggling with your screen time?

Avoid using your phone in the first and the last hour of your day

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of the activities that you do during these hours. You can literally change your life just by using this time efficiently.

Dedicated Screen time

We cannot avoid screens especially, if you are working from home or if your work is remotely linked to using screens. So when it comes to using we are definitely more prone to new kinds of problems. Dedicate time, especially for Scrolling and doing things aimlessly. It could be an hour or two that is something for you to decide. But, if you are scrolling, then do it consciously. Setting up a timer can help you get more clarity and control.

Be intentional about the content you want to see

Remember to always declutter your feed, and remove or mute the people that do not contribute positively to the life you want to build. Stop watching sensationalized news and events because you end up giving a lot of time and mental energy to things that leave you feeling drained.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mridula 💫 (@mriidula)

Take up activities that provide lower stimulation

I have personally tried this method. Instead of thriving on fake dopamine and scrolling your way to contentment; use other methods like reading, yoga, or walking in nature. Reading for me personally has been the most rewarding for lowering my screen time.

The overuse of screen time can have a scary impact on our personal life, as social media creates a level of dopamine that the real world cannot compete with. This leaves us feeling unhappy, as our brain goes into a dopamine deficit.

Hope this read was insightful. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Life May 7, 2022

Hello Again!

Welcome back to this space where I will again start pouring my heart out for the things I feel deeply. Pandemic was tough for everyone, and 2021 went by so fast and slow at the same time.

Some of you would be happy to know that I will start posting again. Life is always a whirlwind of emotions and circumstances sometimes, you feel like shutting yourself out from the world and staying protected in your cocoon but there are times when you miss the feeling of seeing the joy on other people’s faces to be a part of someone’s happiness or to be a warm shoulder in someone’s sadness. We all have our roles to play; it is crazy to think that despite everything that is going on in this world, some people would choose war over peace.

In 2021, I thought too much about the kind of pieces I wanted to share or what the world needs right now. And, to be honest, I felt discouraged to even sit in front of my laptop to write because I wasn’t able to come up with something that has never been shared before. As the time passed and my helplessness about this new kind of content grew, I started choosing to let go.

Let go of the idea that everything I write needs to have a meaning for all, or everything I do needs to be productive and helpful. The more I surrendered, the more opportunities I got to meet more people like me. Despite staying at home, my job offered us an opportunity to create web shows highlighting the importance of confidence, mental health, and many useful topics as a part of CSR activity. You can find those episodes on The Morning Show Episodes – Mumbai, Delhi, Kolkata, Bangalore – Map of Me

2021 was a pleasant year, I spent the majority of the time with my partner, and I couldn’t have asked for more and it was a much-needed pause.

Now that we are almost halfway through 2022 (a year goes by so fast), I feel more hopeful about writing and creating things, and above all posting them. Because, I think one year was enough for overthinking and assuming outcomes, sometimes we just have to do a few things for our soul, and going forward, I would choose that over anything else.

Thanks to everyone who followed up on my writing or YouTube and asked me questions like, ‘when is the next video or book is coming out?’ you may not know it, but it helped.

Awareness January 2, 2021

A year in review: 2020

2020 will be a year that we are going to remember for a long time. Many people lost their livelihoods, their lives or their loved ones. The uncertainty of events was like never before. It was tough to imagine that this fast-paced world of ours will come to a halt. We discovered our resiliency and another reminder that we don’t have anything under control. Though this year brought its own challenges and turmoil, there are somethings that I am absolutely grateful for.

The much needed slow down

It felt like we were always going from one task to another, with so much in our heads. This year was all about reflection. The way we live each day and what are the meaningless things that we should get rid of. There is a rainbow on the other side of the storm, and 2020 was all about that saying. The slow down made me cherish my relationships more. Work from home was a blessing in disguise, which helped me connect to myself and others around me. The pressure of being productive all the time was off, and I embraced the slow mornings and joy in little things.

Embracing life like never before

I always emphasize living life fully, finding a purpose, and dedicating our days to the things we love. But, after losing two of my close relatives, I had to look deeper into what life is for. It made me question things, to introspect on where I am spending my time. Losing my grandfather was like a reminder to finally grow up. Since I am now a part of the second generation of our family and that was a scary thought. Though I was well aware of the fact that people come and people go but it was not easy to process this and finally letting go of the childhood that was an important part of my upbringing. Then recently I lost my aunt who fought cancer with a smile on her face for four years, nothing lasts forever, and her passing shook me and made me rethink all the things that I have been putting off. Though people never stay in our lives forever, our memory of them does. There is a lot to learn from everyone we meet and she in her own way taught me hundreds of things. We can still smile and feel happy that we got to know them at all, we can smile with tears in our eyes. Grief doesn’t always mean suffering, sometimes it just is.

You cannot take things for granted

One thing that 2020 enforced was to not take time, circumstances, and situations for granted. Take that leap, write that book, and create the music that you have been waiting for. Tell people that you love them. We can never take time for granted, and we all know this very well now.

Working with what we had

I worked on a short movie with my husband, which we shot with a GoPro. Though we created multiple unfinished movies throughout the lockdown we managed to post at least one of them. It was great knowing that we didn’t always have to rely on expensive to get started. What is in your mind needs to find a way to come into the world.

Started our online Business

One of the endeavors we have promotes yoga and wellness (Citta Space). During the lockdown, we found out that a lot of Yoga teachers were not able to make any income due to their coronavirus, as most of the people avoided having any external contact. This was another blessing in disguise, and we started providing online yoga classes through digital media. The response was overwhelming, and it was exciting to see so many customers prioritizing their health during this hard time. We continued our Online Yoga Classes from April till October and it was an experience I would have never wanted to miss out on. It was a great experience to provide service see results in a few months.

Life in its complexity is beautiful

Though there was chaos all around, it was amazing to see so many people helping others out during this tough time. A lot of people created something new with their time, many people around me took their hobbies seriously. Every challenge we go through leaves something beautiful behind; sometimes, it is courage, resilience, and a chance to be a better version of ourselves.

I am so grateful that we all stayed connected through the internet, and we were all in this together, which helped in making this otherwise tough year, easier. We started taking more care of our mental health than before.

Wishing you all good health, mental wellbeing and good relationships for the next year.

Awareness March 22, 2020

Quarantine and productivity crisis

The entire world is stalled right now. We never presumed that we could land up in such a situation where gyms, offices, transport, and restaurants would be shut for days. Here are my thoughts on the productivity crisis during quarantine one of the major feeling I’m overcoming at present.

While governments and researchers are trying to make things better, most of us are either working remotely or not working at all.

This could have been our ideal getaway from the daily hustle. Where we did not have to work towards anything and relax at home. Since, we did not plan for this, some of us are left feeling unproductive, even the ones who were waiting for a break to work on some projects or ideas.

We are wired to work and move from one task to another. So now, when we see this sudden change disrupting everyday lifestyle, we don’t know how to function. I spoke to many people during this time, and everyone is feeling the similar guilt of being unproductive during quarantine.

In times like this, most of us are overwhelmed by the news and the numbers of increasing cases and deaths. Therefore, it is okay to let go of the pressure of being productive.

laziness during quarantine creating productivity crisis

You do not have to read every book on the bookshelf right now.
You do not have to produce more content.
You do not have to start that hobby.
You do not have to create something new.
You do not have to work out each day.
You do not have to finish all your pending chores.
You do not have to exercise more.
You do not have to cook masterpieces.
It is okay to slow down and not feel guilty about it.

While there’s a list of activities that I can share, to make the most of these days (and I might), but Hey! You don’t have to make the most of it.

Stay positive, take care of your health, these are the only things that matter right now. You don’t have to be creative for the sake of it.

Create art when you feel aligned with the feeling of creating it.

Don’t let the pressure of being productive make you feel worse during this time. We are all in this together, and we are all uncertain. But, we will get through this.

Be patient with yourself and your craft. Don’t force yourself to be creative or productive.

Life January 18, 2020

The News, You and Compassion Fatigue

Hasn’t the news gone more worrying these days? We are subjected to constant hate and fear as long as the news channels are on. This could be the cause of increased compassion fatigue.

What is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion Fatigue is a state experienced by those helping people or animals in distress; it is an extreme state of tension and preoccupation with the suffering of those being helped to the degree that it can create secondary traumatic stress (STS) for the helper. – compassionfatigue.org/

It is often referred to as the cost of caring for people who are in physical or emotional pain.

This used to be common with people who were in the helping profession, but with too much going on in the world, many of us are facing compassion fatigue.

This can lead to a gradual lessening of compassion over time. When we see so many disturbing news, one after the other, we stop empathising after a while, as we don’t have time to process them individually. They just line up one after the other.

War threats
Australian fires
Climate change
Economic crisis
Inequality and discrimination
People being unusually hateful towards others

At times, I feel that I am too exhausted to care. The other times, I feel guilty of not doing my part by sharing about a cause on Social Media.

All this information used to stay in the News, but now it is with us each time we are on the internet. Each day brings a new heavy subject and makes me question the world that we are living in.

It is crucial to raise your voice on the problems that matter to you. But, if you are like me, the constant conflict of whether you are doing enough or not can drain you out.

Why is it important to have compassion?

You cannot have compassion for others if you don’t have it for your self.

‘Compassion gives us inner strength; it gives us self-confidence and that reduces fear, which, in turn, keeps our mind calm. Therefore, compassion has two functions; it causes our brain to function better and it brings inner strength.’
Dalai Lama

Staying in touch with your emotions helps you choose the right path, stay connected to the universe and with yourself.

How to know if it is Compassion Fatigue?

Depersonalisation
Hypersensitivity or complete insensitivity to emotional material
Identity, worldview, and spirituality impacted
Feeling burdened by the suffering of others
Chronic exhaustion (emotional, physical, or both)
Reduced feelings of sympathy or empathy
Feelings of irritability, anger, or anxiety

How to overcome Compassion fatigue?

Start with self-care

tea and poetry. Doing what you love helps decreasing compassion fatigue

Connect with your emotions and give time to yourself. You cannot care for others without taking good care of your own. Check-in with yourself on how you are feeling each day, and take the necessary steps to boost yourself if you are feeling low. You can listen to your favourite music, cherish your preferred drink, go to a beautiful place and just be with yourself.

Limit your news intake

girl reading news, avoid compassion fatigue

Do not stay glued to the news. If you want to stay updated, choose 15 minutes of your day to check up on news. Most importantly, don’t trust social media with the news, most of them are fake, please do a fact-check using websites like altnews.in before forming any opinions.

Talk to your loved ones

two women sitting and talking to each other

Call the friend who makes you feel better, talk to your partner, parents. It is healing to speak your mind with the ones you love. Even one conversation like this each day can help to reduce your stress levels.

Practice Mindfulness

Create a practice that makes you feel present and engaged in the moment. It could be meditation or some activity that you enjoy, like sports, painting, or any other form of art. Mindfulness helps in bringing awareness to your current state and takes the power away from overthinking, and constant chatter.

Recharge yourself

Eat well and workout to build resilience and recover yourself from ongoing chaos. Slow down and sleep well. Do not engage in social media right after waking up and right before sleeping.

If the symptoms are severe and persist after applying the above, please seek a therapist.
I hope this helps you if you are struggling with caring too much. Let me know your thought in the comment section below.

Life December 26, 2019

At my own pace | A year in Review

While the end of the year is the most beautiful of all; Sometimes, it brings along melancholy, a feeling that the whole year has gone by and you haven’t done anything significant. Maybe there are many resolutions still undone on your list. It can feel heavy and uninspiring.

2019 has been an overwhelming and in-comprehensive year.

Believe it or not, you have had many learning experiences in 2019. It may not be as great you thought, but you moved ahead.

I have a bad habit of rushing things. Until I don’t get the prominent things on my list done, I feel as if I haven’t done anything.

If I look back, on the surface, nothing really changed. But, if I look again and be more thoughtful, then a lot of things did.

(I’ll have to check my phone, for the record it has maintained during 2019)

I think that was a bad idea, as I could only find pics of various weddings I attended this year.

Let’s try again.

I shifted to a healthier lifestyle, I am now more aware of the nutrition my body needs.

Before this, I was more concerned about calories and maintaining weight; But now, I am more thoughtful about nutrition intake because I can see a shift in energy levels and overall health.

I started working on TMD Storyteller and Citta Space.

These two projects took most of the time of 2019. TMD Storyteller is a production house that brings life to the stories by turning them into movies, and Città Space is an initiative we started to promote wellbeing by yoga and meditation.

Next, I met amazing people and learned a little more about life.

It is amazing how every person you meet leaves some impact on you and alters the way you see life. To me, every person is a lesson and a part of our reflection. I met this amazing mother who works hard for herself and also focuses on the acting career of her two kids, and she has just started a new business, hats off to the time management skills. I met people who made me want to read more, learn more and express myself in different ways.

Felt super confident, doubtful, anxious and confident again.

Questioned my decisions, worried about the future, thought I will never get out of this, found serenity and balance again.

It was a rollercoaster, I have always been socially anxious and I do not enjoy public gatherings as much until they are with the people that I adore. Well in 2017, I learned that it is fun to meet new people and learn about their lives. But, when it comes to large gatherings and parties, I always have a hard time making the small talk, and this year was all about that because of WEDDINGS!!!! And, I felt as if I have no time for myself because of all this. Also, the project at my office was time-consuming and challenging. I started using a second bullet journal (I have two now), which makes it much simpler to get my mind together.

I decided to not be so hard on myself regarding timelines.

Had my highs and my lows like everyone else. This year was beautiful, and as it is ending, it is teaching me something new,

A new way of letting things go.

Each year brings its lessons, and to make space for the new ones, we have to let go of the things which are not serving us anymore. Feeling pain is part of my life, but holding on to that is a choice.

One thing that I am doing this year is, letting go of all the self-doubt, worries, and resentment I held on to this year, let New year bring the new ones (>_<).

It is not that the next year will be free of worries and hurt, but I will be happier with the new ones instead of digging up for the older ones. We can’t go much further emotionally without addressing the things which are still bothering us from the past. As it always the same lesson wrapped in a different color than before.

There are a few resolutions that I am still working on, and I will have to move them to 2020, but I am closer than I was before.

Rather than giving myself a timestamp of getting things done, I am working towards a more sustainable way of doing things. Where I can stay consistent and healthily work on my goals, not under the pressure of time is running out.

a carefree girl in field. — Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

If you feel that you have been missed this year completely, or got nothing done, take a good look, you might have received things or lessons to help you through it.

Emotions October 1, 2019

Loving your Imperfect Self

How do you deal with the process of getting from where you are to where you want to be?

In a lot of cases, we do not participate in the process gracefully, which leads to an unhealthy transformation or an incomplete process.

We usually start our dissing our current self in order to get to the desired place.

Going from one state of existence to another involves a process.

This process needs to be completed from a place of love, or else it could give us unwanted results, or we may even end up leaving the process in the middle if it causes us grief.

Therefore, when you decide to develop yourself in a better person, you should not start hating your current self.

In the process of trying to lose weight, most of us start hating our bodies and follow the process with hatred towards ourselves, and punish our body for it. This creates an imbalance, and we may end up hurting our bodies in the process.

To learn any new skill you need a process. Remember when you decided to learn dancing, cooking, or singing, you followed a process. Did you judge yourself, or hate yourself when you did not know how to cook? Or dance? You just said that you will learn more and enhance your skill.

Did you start cussing yourself for being in ‘Grade 1’ on your way to graduation? No, right? So why do you put so much pressure on your imperfect self in the process of reaching to desired self?

Similarly, when we try to make more money, we start hating our current earning or existence. It creates an emotional gap in our connection to ourselves.

This emotional gap does not result in healthy transformation, and you are likely to get back to your old ways, or you may achieve the desired results, but you will not be in a happy place emotionally.

How would you react if someone asked you to do the right thing, forcefully? Their intentions may be nice, but how would you feel if a teacher punished you physically to achieve good grades?

We grow best in the in the places we feel loved.

When we are brought up in a loving environment where we feel trusted, we bloom the best. Having a partner who loves and trusts us, can bring out the best in us. We can be that partner for ourselves, we can love ourselves on this journey to become the best version of ourselves.

So when you want your body and mind to work with you in harmony, you have to give them love along the way. Thank yourself for choosing to take on this journey and for consistently evolving into a better person.

Loving yourself can make your transformation process a wonderful experience, rather than a torturous one.

So Love your imperfect self.

Life September 29, 2019

My 2018: Three Major Changes

This is year brought crazy changes in my life. Things that I never could imagine myself doing happened so suddenly that I haven’t had time to catch my breath yet. Out of all the adventure that 2018 brought the 3 major ones were:

1) Getting Married

This one is super weird, I always thought that marriage is just about two people deciding to spend the rest of their lives together, but NO!, it is much more. A wedding brings each bit of insecurity and anxiety that you may have, to life. Guests, families, people taking a sudden interest in your life, outfits, and Makeup! (for a person like me, who used to just get by in this area, I had to brush myself up a lot). Coping with the change in address and house was scary for the first few weeks. Eventually, my nervousness found peace in Green Teas and Hot Chocolates made by my partner.

2) Changing my Job Domain

Photo by Corinne Kutz on Unsplash
(Aug 2018 and not my hands :D)

I worked for more than 5 years in capacity management, and I was pretty confident with all the things I learned so far. I loved my work in this domain. But, I felt like switching my profile and learning a new skill. Therefore, I shifted to Project Management. For those of you who are new to these IT jargons, these two profiles are quite different from each other. This change was long overdue, I always wanted to work in project management. Therefore, 2018 gifted me this change as well.

3) Becoming an Author

I waited for this the longest; to make this shift and add the word ‘Author’ to my profile. So yay! Here I am and Live More is finally out.

More than anything, I consider these changes to be the greatest gifts I received in 2018. Now, I will be stepping in 2019 with hope and will be anticipating miracles that this new year will bring.

What are the gifts that you received in 2018? Let me know in the comments below. I wish you a Happy New Year!

Life September 29, 2019

My Journey to my first book: Live More

It is a different experience, but it feels the same as it felt after standing for the first time in front of the Eiffel or getting married to the person I love. I never thought that I would make it, at least not this early.

Yes, I wanted to publish a book for a long time. I wrote a few chapters for a few days and then didn’t write anything for months. However, in my darkest times, writing became a beautiful escape. I thought maybe this is the time I am going to write a book, but after a few days, the idea seemed crazy and too big to execute.

This on and off relationship with writing went on for the first 2 years. After a while, I started my own blog, and after a few blog posts, I began receiving messages from complete strangers who found my writing relatable. After those few articles, I decided to take writing seriously.

In 2016’s Christmas holidays, I was traveling from Rome to Brussels in an airplane; let us say it wasn’t exactly a bad landing but, it was bad enough to scare me, and the first thought that came to my mind was, ‘but, the book is not out yet’. This brought my attention to the place this book held at the back of my mind.

And for the past 2 years, I have been writing every day to complete ‘Live More’. I could not wait to send my book out there, and for people to read it. Now, it feels the same but different (I don’t know if you can relate to this part).

You can buy the buy the eBook at Live More – Kindle Edition

or

You can purchase the Paperback from Amazon or Notionpress.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.in/dp/1684662443

Notion Press: https://notionpress.com/read/live-more

I do not know how it will go from here, or how many people are going to read it. Maybe, at times the work you create is itself the prize.