Not a long time ago, I had a very close friend who continually kept reminding me of all the mistakes that I have ever made in my life.
She never let me feel good about myself for a long time. Each time I was ready for a big event or started to feel good, she would remind of my imperfect body or how I was not pretty enough to feel this way.
She would go out of her way to compare me with the girls she saw on magazines, and she had a big problem with how I wasn’t successful, beautiful, and talented enough.
You would be wondering, why would I put up with her after all this?
Have you had such a friend in your life? That one friend, for whom you were never adequate?
For me, that friend was my inner voice and how it would regularly remind me of my failures. It is funny how we look around for excuses, but the only person to be blamed for our unhappiness is ourselves.
We are so critical of ourselves that we cannot even stand in front of the mirror for more than 25 seconds without pointing out the flaws in our bodies. We are our worst frenemies, always there to remind ourselves of the things we could not do.
We tend to think that the presence of someone else in our life will make it better. It will make us happier or give us the validation that we are seeking.
A few years ago, I made a promise to myself that I will love myself endlessly and will always be there to pick up the pieces each time I will fall apart. My perception of looking at life transformed after making that promise.
No longer was I wishing to feel accepted, because I accepted and loved myself for all that I am.
I started making more mindful choices about the friendships and relationships I had.
Once I was ready to accept myself completely, it got easier for me to accept people for who they were. It made it easier for me to let go of the people who were toxic or did not respect my boundaries, without keeping a grudge or negative attitude towards them.
If we are not kind to ourselves, we will continue to have people in our circle who would keep making us feel guilty and drained.
People come and go, but in the end, it is our relationship with ourselves, which dictates our relationship with the people around us.
Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas from Pexels
