October 2019 - Mridula Singh

Travel October 18, 2019

Trenitalia and story of the Lost Luggage

After spending our first day beautifully in Italy, its train system warmly welcomed us by taking our luggage…Away.

Here is how it all happened.

Piazza San Marco, Venice. This is where we lost out luggage. — Piazza San Marco, Venice

We took the train from Venice to Florence, and we decided to keep our luggage in the luggage designated area. Little did we know, that it is the last place you should think of while keeping your luggage. Right after Venice, there was the train station of Mestre, and we decided to check if our bags are okay. And, to our surprise, one of the big trolley bags was gone. After 2 hours of complaints and searching on the train, we got to understand that it is a norm in Trenitalia.

I wasn’t completely upset by the loss because we were in Italy, and it is so beautiful that you forget about such trouble. Luckily, we did not keep our important documents or cash in the bag we lost. Around 8 PM, we got out of the train at Florence and went on our way to the station (train station) police to get a written complaint.

Policemen refused to write the report as we did not have any valuable or traceable items in the bag. That was disappointing, and it was 9 PM now, so we decided to leave and check in to our hotel.

But we were in Italy

After spending two days in Florence, we proceeded to Rome.On our way back from Rome, we decided to ask a police officer if we could get any help in this situation and told him the story of our lost bag. The policeman was very helpful and he insisted that we report it. However, due to a long queue at the police station, and waiting in line for almost 25 minutes, we realised that we would miss our train to Naples if we kept waiting there.

Well! Hello Naples,

After arriving at Naples train station, we met a very helpful man, who was working at the customer query’s counter. His name was Mr. Loris, so Mr. Loris heard us out and tried his best to get us some help. He accompanied us to Trenitalia’s station office, to the lost and found counter, even to the ‘Polizia di Stato Napoli’. Here, the policeman made several calls to Mestre and Venice’s station and no update was obtained of our lost bag, till this time we were so hopeless that we did not even ask him to write a report for us. Anyway, the policeman guided us on being safe taking precautions while travelling.

By this time, Mr. Loris has given us the names of all the happening places, and food outlets. He asked us to give a try to the restaurant named ‘Mimi’. After that whenever we asked, or told anyone in Naples our plans of having dinner at ‘Mimi’, we got a positive response, and suddenly I was the smartest person I knew. Ha!

We never made it to Mimì alla Ferrovia, but you know where to go for a good meal when you are in Naples.

Well, well, well. We never got the bag back, and after Naples, we didn’t even care because we were in Italy, and it is so beautiful that it can make you forget anything.

So, here’s what I learned from this incident:

Never keep your bag out of sight when you are on a train. If you don’t find a seat near the luggage counter then, sit on your bag. Just kidding. Usually, you can keep the cabin bags near your seat.
Police will help you if are persistent.
Do not keep valuable items in the luggage bag, keep them in your handbag or jackets, as close to you as possible.
If you lost your luggage in Italy, you probably will never get it back.
Live in the now, do not let little things take focus away from the beautiful journey.
Always get a hotel which is near H&M, Primark or Zara (just kidding).

Silver Lining: We had two big trolley bags + one cabin bag, and it was slowing us down. After losing one of them, we saved a lot on the travelling time and extra hassle. Now, we pack minimal stuff while travelling.

Last time when I visited Italy, I told everyone that you leave a part of yourself in Italy as you get lost in its Magic. This time I can say that you lose a part of yours in Italy, for real.

Lifestyle October 1, 2019

5 Things to Stop doing after Waking Up

Mornings are full of people trying to go to their workouts, jobs, and preparing for the day. No doubt that all this is not easy to accomplish in the first few hours of the day, we all need more time, right?

Mornings are supposed to be a fresh start, but many of us do not understand the importance of this time. The first hour of our day determines how the rest of the day is going to play out.

If you would have noticed, when you wake up in a rush to get things done, the whole day feels rushed out and similarly and when you wake up with worries the remaining day feels heavier.

Not acknowledging the first hour of the day is like taking life for granted.

Here are 5 things you need to stop doing in the first 15 mins of your day

1. Stop Scrolling

This is a big one, we are so habitual of looking at our phones that as soon as our day starts our social media life begins. This is unhealthy on so many levels. The first thing you want to do is to look at what others have posted? This increases our chances of being anxious through the rest of the day.

2. Stop with your task list

Yes, you are busy and do not have much time to waste but breathe for a while before taking on to the next thing. This builds up the pressure to get things done too soon through the day.

3. Stop Worrying

Do I have to mention this one? Why can we not take the new day as it is, New! We have such a reserve of worries which are half processed through the night that we start worrying as soon as we get up.

4. Stop being Negative

This is a powerful time to manifest, visualise, or to set intentions for the day do not cause yourself harm by being negative.

5. Don’t get involved in the drama

Well, there are phases, when a lot is going on in our lives or in the lives of people close to us. Sometimes, we are the compassionate listener and the other times we are ones discussing our problems. However, do not approach these issues in the first few mins of your day. No drama is more valuable than your mental health.

Though these practices are very easy, we often forget to implement them in our lives. If you are performing any of the above, I hope you find your way to work on it as your mental health and happiness comes first.

Your energy in the morning is a clean slate, and you get a chance each day to build it up the way you want.

I like to start my mornings by waking up to my favourite songs, stretching and paying gratitude to the universe each day. I like to stay quiet and not engage in conversations in the first 30 mins of the day. During this time, I prefer to have green tea, lime water or apple cider vinegar. This helps me in staying calm and think more clearly throughout the day.

Well that was my morning routine, what are things that help you in starting your mornings on the right note?

Emotions October 1, 2019

From Expectance to Acceptance…

When I was in school, we were asked to say the serenity prayer which included the beautiful lines

‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change and the courage to change the things I can’.

Now when I read these words, they make much more sense to me than they did before as most of the times the reason for our distress is worrying about the things we can’t change. This one line is also the best lesson for creating Inner Peace.

Just think of it. If we could stop worrying about the things we can’t change how different will our mental state would be. Think about the issues that are bothering you the most right now.

Most of the times we are stressing over things which are out of our hands as if worrying about them will magically make them go away. There are also regrets from the past and the worries of the future which takes a lot of room in our mind.

This not only applies to the circumstances. Many of the times, we feel negative or upset because of the behaviour of the people around us. If we could accept them for who they are, it will ease our misery.

Accepting others for who they are

We find ourselves struggling with the negativity we get from the actions of others because we expect them to behave differently. But, you can only find peace if you choose to stay away from them or accept them for who they are. If you stay in the middle and expect the others to act the way you want them to then you are inviting more hurt in your life.

If we start counting our reasons to be stressed the things that we cannot control will outnumber the things we can control. Stressing about something before it actually takes place, makes you go through it multiple times instead of once.

Now, if you are in a similar situation and are worrying about the things which are out of your control then practice the following:

1) Close your eyes and take a deep breath

2) Start by forgiving all the people who hurt you

3) Think about the obstacles which are bothering you and imagine them in the form of balloons that you are holding.

4) Now gradually let go of these balloons one by one and watch them shrinking as they float away.

5) Acknowledge that you are giving these away, and now it is up to Universe to take care of them.

6) Give thanks to the Universe (or something / someone that you acknowledge to be the higher power).

7) Accept the present and let the universe take care of you.

Repeat this exercise each time you are aware of the nonacceptance which is causing you to stress.

Emotions October 1, 2019

The worst friend I’ve had

Not a long time ago, I had a very close friend who continually kept reminding me of all the mistakes that I have ever made in my life.

She never let me feel good about myself for a long time. Each time I was ready for a big event or started to feel good, she would remind of my imperfect body or how I was not pretty enough to feel this way.

She would go out of her way to compare me with the girls she saw on magazines, and she had a big problem with how I wasn’t successful, beautiful, and talented enough.

You would be wondering, why would I put up with her after all this?

Have you had such a friend in your life? That one friend, for whom you were never adequate?

Photo by **Juan Pablo Arenas** from **Pexels**

For me, that friend was my inner voice and how it would regularly remind me of my failures. It is funny how we look around for excuses, but the only person to be blamed for our unhappiness is ourselves.

We are so critical of ourselves that we cannot even stand in front of the mirror for more than 25 seconds without pointing out the flaws in our bodies. We are our worst frenemies, always there to remind ourselves of the things we could not do.

We tend to think that the presence of someone else in our life will make it better. It will make us happier or give us the validation that we are seeking.

A few years ago, I made a promise to myself that I will love myself endlessly and will always be there to pick up the pieces each time I will fall apart. My perception of looking at life transformed after making that promise.

No longer was I wishing to feel accepted, because I accepted and loved myself for all that I am.

I started making more mindful choices about the friendships and relationships I had.

Once I was ready to accept myself completely, it got easier for me to accept people for who they were. It made it easier for me to let go of the people who were toxic or did not respect my boundaries, without keeping a grudge or negative attitude towards them.

If we are not kind to ourselves, we will continue to have people in our circle who would keep making us feel guilty and drained.

People come and go, but in the end, it is our relationship with ourselves, which dictates our relationship with the people around us.

Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas from Pexels

Lifestyle October 1, 2019

#1 Productivity Hack

Corporate life has taught me a lot of things, and one of them was to stay at the top of your game and to be more productive, you have to keep a journal/ list or tool to track your activities.

Then, I started trying different things to work on my goals for the day. From Wunderlist to Evernote, I tried multiple apps and excel files but it still wasn’t working for me. I just couldn’t get the stuff done because I would write everything on the list, then I would forget to read the list and will miss tasks then and now.

Gradually, I shifted from keeping a virtual task list to Sticky Notes, and I would completely fill my desktop’s corners with them. The good thing was that they worked, the faulty part was the space that they were using.

Finally, I started making a handwritten task list on a page, and I would not mark something off until I completed that particular task. And, it helped, and I use them till this date. They are one of the best productivity hack till now.

Here are some tips to create your own list

Take first 5 mins of your day and note down the things that you have to complete in the given day.

Be realistic, don’t burden yourself with too many tasks.

Be honest, if you haven’t completed a task on the given day move to the next day’s list.

Keep this list where you can easily see it through your day.

Review it, after the end of each day review your list and make sure all your tasks are completed.

Write it down yourself.

This was the main difference which made me more productive than I was. After writing the list in your own handwriting, you get a sense of investment and commitment towards your list. This hack has made me much more productive than I have been in my whole life.

Try this if you are struggling with managing multiple things at once and let me know your experiences and opinions in the comments below. Photo by Cathryn Lavery on Unsplash

Lifestyle October 1, 2019

6 Ways to Make your Life Lighter

Life can feel heavy at times, and if we accept it for too long, heaviness becomes a new normal in our life.

Many of us cling to the clutter in our life. The dress that we haven’t worn in a year, old books that we do not read anymore or those broken articles holding a place in our wardrobes in the hope of fixing.

Being attached to things that are not serving us any longer, takes up unnecessary space in our lives. It not only creates blockages in our storage space, but also blocks the energy flow of our life.

Get things fixed or let them Go

We often have a dysfunctional item in our rooms because it needs fixing and we will keep it in our drawers for months, in hope of getting it to work again. But, getting it mended never makes it in our to-do list. Raise your hands if you have been there, or are still guilty of it. This time, assign a specific day each week when you get to work on the items that require a repair.

Another challenge here is when an item keeps dysfunctioning again and again even after getting repaired multiple times. This time, take a day out in your week and let this item go.

The Clothes we won’t wear.

We keep holding on to clothes for more than we should, in the hope that we will get to wear them again. We might be expecting to fit into that size again or, waiting for the trend to come back. To live lighter, we have to let go of the clothes or things that are not right for us at this moment.

Detox your body

Take a day to cleanse your body. I would recommend one day per week but if you cannot, take one day in a month to purify your body. This can be done by adding fruits and juices as a major part of your food intake for one whole day. If you feel like you have to have a full meal, then prepare your dinner with a healthy salad. A single day of detoxing can make us feel lighter and fresh.

A No Complain Day

Take one day and carefully pick your words and statements; consciously choose not to complain about life. No comments like, ‘people are mean’, ‘we don’t have good food in the cafeteria’ or, ‘it is a boring day’. We use these sentences very frequently in our day. If we pay close attention to words we are saying and choose to not complain, just for one day, we can create lighter energy around us.

Get rid of relationships which do not add value to your life

If you are constantly giving your time to the empty conversations and your presence to the people who do not value it, then you need to detach yourself. Your time and energy are two precious aspects of your life, and spending them on the company which does not bring joy or happiness is a complete waste. Remove yourself from your friends, colleagues or relatives, who do not add positive value to your life and use that time in something that you find productive. This will be tough at first and might make you feel lonely, but it makes your life lighter.

Forgive

Forgiveness makes our heart feel lighter. Letting go of the thought of people who did you wrong, is a beautiful experience for your inner peace. Forgive each person who has caused you pain or sorrow. It may be difficult at first, but keep trying till you get there. I will soon be posting a different blogpost focusing on the ways you can forgive.

I hope that the dullness in your life may disappear using any one of the tips mentioned above. Or, If you have figured out your own ways of making your lighter let me know in the comments below.

Photo by Gian Cescon on Unsplash

Emotions October 1, 2019

Are you Stressed or just Overthinking?

Last few weeks have been full of gatherings, and it has been a fun but EXHAUSTING experience. But, here is the delightful experience which drove me to write this blog.

During dinner, on a Saturday night, the ever exciting topic of Stress came up. I have mentioned it in my book, how people think that Stress is an inseparable part of their daily life. One interesting question came up where Someone mentioned knowing that Stress is unhealthy but, it is difficult to distinguish the time which is being spent stressing, from the time being consumed in simply thinking about things.

Do you know? If you stay near the garbage long enough, it will eventually stop smelling.

Yes, this is what stress does, initially you get stressed and you know, but if you stay with this feeling consistently then, there comes a stage where you can no longer feel the difference; this means, that you are constantly worrying, even for the littlest thing.

How to know if it is stress?

Think about one person that you absolutely adore it can be your sibling, a family member, your lover, your friend, your pet or your own self.
Imagine being in their presence and having a good time with them, does it make you feel relaxed? Loosen up a little? Does this thought make you smile?

Now, notice the difference between this feeling and your usual thinking pattern. If you observe a considerable shift in energy then, you are stressed in the day to day life. Even a small thought grows up in your mind and creates disturbance, and now worrying is a habit.

Practice makes stress stay. The more you focus on things that worry you, the more your mind drags your attention towards the conditions which will lead to further tension.

So, if you think that you are no longer able to differentiate between the two, then it is time to change the way your mind is thinking.

Photo by Ümit Bulut on Unsplash

Emotions October 1, 2019

Things Jealousy taught me

Emotions like Jealousy and anger can teach us a lot if we give them a chance.

Jealousy is one amazing teacher that I met. On few occasions in the past, I found myself comparing my life to someone else’s and tried to justify in my mind how my life was better than theirs.

Gradually, critical judgement towards others and their work, started increasing. I would hardly be impressed with other’s accomplishments. At times, I would even try to do things better.

Before I went too far with it, the little voice in me who was getting burdened with these feelings asked me to ‘shut up and reflect’. reflect on what was causing this behaviour to arise.

I found some very interesting facts about Jealousy.

It creeps up when we lack love for a particular aspect of our own existence.

When we are confident about one area of our lives, we feel admiration for the people who possess the same quality. For example, I was confident about my work and therefore, I was always happy when I saw someone putting in the same amount of work, but, things were not the same when I saw someone having a great time out with their friends.

But why would I feel bad about someone else getting the things that are important to me as well ?

Because, I lacked love for myself in that area. I was not confident or content about my life outside of work. It was not because I did not have great friends, I was just denying my need of getting out there and letting myself loose once in a while. It was my excuse to stay in my comfort zone, and to not interact with the world.

Once I started putting in efforts on my life outside of work, on my relationships with my friends and started being more comfortable with putting myself out there. I was content with my life. I didn’t start partying every night, but I did not judge or got jealous of the people who were having a great time.

Jealousy is hard to accept

It is a courageous thing to accept that you feel jealous of another individual. Acceptance of jealousy also reveals what we truly desire. It highlights a part of us which needs more love. Acceptance of jealousy helps us look out for answers and ways to resolve it.

Resolving Jealousy

It can be resolved by working towards our relationship with the part that we do not love enough. Identifying that I needed more love and contentment in my personal life was the first step. The next step, was to cherish and to be thankful for the people who were in my life. I learned to love myself for who I was when I was not in office.

Jealousy eats you up and makes you look suspiciously at this world, it will also create more negative experiences because of a negative mindset. But, by learning what it is trying to teach us we can transform our lives.

Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash

Emotions October 1, 2019

Loving your Imperfect Self

How do you deal with the process of getting from where you are to where you want to be?

In a lot of cases, we do not participate in the process gracefully, which leads to an unhealthy transformation or an incomplete process.

We usually start our dissing our current self in order to get to the desired place.

Going from one state of existence to another involves a process.

This process needs to be completed from a place of love, or else it could give us unwanted results, or we may even end up leaving the process in the middle if it causes us grief.

Therefore, when you decide to develop yourself in a better person, you should not start hating your current self.

In the process of trying to lose weight, most of us start hating our bodies and follow the process with hatred towards ourselves, and punish our body for it. This creates an imbalance, and we may end up hurting our bodies in the process.

To learn any new skill you need a process. Remember when you decided to learn dancing, cooking, or singing, you followed a process. Did you judge yourself, or hate yourself when you did not know how to cook? Or dance? You just said that you will learn more and enhance your skill.

Did you start cussing yourself for being in ‘Grade 1’ on your way to graduation? No, right? So why do you put so much pressure on your imperfect self in the process of reaching to desired self?

Similarly, when we try to make more money, we start hating our current earning or existence. It creates an emotional gap in our connection to ourselves.

This emotional gap does not result in healthy transformation, and you are likely to get back to your old ways, or you may achieve the desired results, but you will not be in a happy place emotionally.

How would you react if someone asked you to do the right thing, forcefully? Their intentions may be nice, but how would you feel if a teacher punished you physically to achieve good grades?

We grow best in the in the places we feel loved.

When we are brought up in a loving environment where we feel trusted, we bloom the best. Having a partner who loves and trusts us, can bring out the best in us. We can be that partner for ourselves, we can love ourselves on this journey to become the best version of ourselves.

So when you want your body and mind to work with you in harmony, you have to give them love along the way. Thank yourself for choosing to take on this journey and for consistently evolving into a better person.

Loving yourself can make your transformation process a wonderful experience, rather than a torturous one.

So Love your imperfect self.

Meditation October 1, 2019

5 Easy ways to Meditate – For Beginners

There are two kinds of people who don’t practice meditation. Those who think that they don’t need meditation and the other ones, who want to give meditation a try, but don’t know where to begin.

This post is for the ones who do not know where to start with meditation.

The confusion is normal. There is too much information out there, and everyone is ready to discuss the benefits of meditation. The processes that they suggest are either too complicated to follow or easy to follow, but you may lose your attention within minutes.

I am sharing with you 5 easy techniques that can help you in taking your first step towards meditation.

Things that you need as a beginner to meditate:

1) A comfortable surrounding where you would not be disturbed by other people or noises.

2) You need to set a ‘Do Not Disturb’ on your phone.

3) Ten Minutes – Yes, 10 Minutes are all you need to start with, you can stretch these up as you advance.

4) A posture which keeps your spine straight. You can either lie on your back with your hands fully relaxed, or you can sit straight up, with your legs crossed.

Technique 1: Relaxation

1) Make your body fully relaxed so that there is no tension in the muscles.

2) If you sense any tightness in the body then take a deep breath and let it go.

3) Close your eyes

4) Take five deep breaths, while inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.

5) Now, Start with your forehead and relax your forehead, move forward to your face, and relax your face muscles.

6) Focus on relaxing each part of your body, from your head to toe by paying attention to each part.

7) Once your body is relaxed, rub your palms against each other and put them on your eyes.

8) You can open your eyes when you’re ready.

Technique 2: To Increase mind control and reduced clutter from the mind

This a very simple method to adapt. It relieves your mind of all the worries and gives you some time without the thoughts that are bothering you.

1) Make your body fully relaxed so that there is no tension in the muscles.

2) If you sense any tension in the body, then take a deep breath and let it go.

3) Close your eyes.

4) Now picture the number ‘3’, three times (inhale and exhale deeply each time you picture the number), in your mind and feel that your body is now relaxed.

5) Next, picture number ‘2’, three time in your mind and relax your thought process and mind.

6) Then, Picture number ‘1’, three times in your mind to initiate the remaining process.

7) Now, count from 100 to 1, at a 2-second pause.

8) You can open your eyes once you are ready.

Technique 3: Affirmations

This is advantageous if you are centring on one situation or aspect of your life.

For example, if you want to be more confident, then the affirmation that you are going to use, should be ‘I am confident about myself and my decisions‘.

1) Make your body completely relaxed so that there is no tension in the muscles.

2) If you sense any tension in the body then take a deep breath and let it go.

3) Close your eyes

4) Take 3 deep breaths

5) Now recite the Affirmation 100 times. Yes, to add replace the old patterns with new ones, you must follow repetition.

6) Open your eyes when you are ready.

Technique 4: Cleansing

1) Make your body fully relaxed so that there is no tension in the muscles.

2) Close your eyes

3) Take a deep breath in, and imagine inhaling a golden light which is filling up your body with healing energy.

4) Breathe out and visualise sending all the negative and heavy energy out, and relax your body with a sense of lightness.

Technique 5: Guided Meditation

If everything else fails, you can find engaging guided meditation online. These meditations can last from anywhere between 5 mins to Few Hours.

There are meditations by Louise Hay, Dr. Wayne Dyer easily available on YouTube. Also, there are multiple YouTubers who create their own meditations, Michael Sealey is one of my favourites to tune in to.

Meditation can bring more mindfulness in everyday life and make it blissful experience.

Once you start on this journey, you will open yourself up to many other techniques and new ways to meditate. I hope these techniques can give you the start that you need.