Slider Archives - Mridula Singh

Awareness June 2, 2022

Blame and Unhappiness

Not everything wrong in our life is our fault. We all come from different privileges, backgrounds that we have no control over, and some things that we cannot choose.
During our time on earth, we get hurt multiple times, face misfortunes, and have also been taken advantage of. Sometimes, we get into the trap of blaming other people for our miseries or the challenges that we are facing. It is okay to identify the root cause of your problem and also the people who cause them. But blaming circumstance or people for where you are in life gives them too much power over your destiny.

It is convenient to shift the responsibility for our failures to the horrible boss in the office, or a toxic family environment. While these situations do have a prominent effect on our lives, we still have some power to change the situation that we are in. It is easy to blame and shrug off the immediate responsibility that we have on ourselves but if we keep repeating the same story for a length of time, then we put ourselves in the danger of staying stuck in these toxic environments forever.

We convince ourselves that we have no control over what happens in our life as it is pre-written by our circumstances. We tell ourselves a story because it is easier for our minds to stay stuck in the known and comfortable. On the other hand, if we take responsibility for our problem, we will also have to take action, and blaming others is much better than blaming ourselves.

We are scared to step into this unknown territory of taking action. By blaming others, we are only hurting ourselves and the potential happiness that we can have. Blaming paralyzes us to take even one step further from our situation.
If we try looking at it from distance and acknowledge the mess around us, and take just one step to fix our little corner, we might end up solving our entire problem.

The goal is to not give our power away to situations and people. We are capable of changing the things around and inside of us, we might have to shout out for help, but that would also be a step that would take us in a new direction. If you feel stuck in one such circumstance in your life. Following actions may help you in becoming free.

Set an Intention to stop playing the Blame game

It is easy to point fingers at others when things go wrong. We see it in our work and personal life when something goes wrong, and people start looking for a scapegoat. Most of the time, people are looking to protect themselves by shifting the blame.

Take your power back

This means taking action on the things you can control. If you are going through a mentally tough situation, consider asking people for help or just own the bit of the problem that you can solve.

Pay attention when jumping on the blame wagon

Be aware the next time you start to shift the responsibility of your life to someone else. It is not that people are not horrible or toxic, but protect the corner of your sanity by bringing your awareness to yourself.

Find Empathy

Sometimes, it is hard to find forgiveness or recover the time we lost. Try looking at things from the other person’s perspective it will ease the pain that you experience. Find empathy for yourself if you acted out and went wrong at some point in time. Our relationship with ourselves dictates all the others, do not expect perfection in every situation from yourself.

Hope this piece helps you in seeing your life in a better light and take action to make it more amazing than it is today.

Lifestyle October 1, 2019

5 Things to Stop doing after Waking Up

Mornings are full of people trying to go to their workouts, jobs, and preparing for the day. No doubt that all this is not easy to accomplish in the first few hours of the day, we all need more time, right?

Mornings are supposed to be a fresh start, but many of us do not understand the importance of this time. The first hour of our day determines how the rest of the day is going to play out.

If you would have noticed, when you wake up in a rush to get things done, the whole day feels rushed out and similarly and when you wake up with worries the remaining day feels heavier.

Not acknowledging the first hour of the day is like taking life for granted.

Here are 5 things you need to stop doing in the first 15 mins of your day

1. Stop Scrolling

This is a big one, we are so habitual of looking at our phones that as soon as our day starts our social media life begins. This is unhealthy on so many levels. The first thing you want to do is to look at what others have posted? This increases our chances of being anxious through the rest of the day.

2. Stop with your task list

Yes, you are busy and do not have much time to waste but breathe for a while before taking on to the next thing. This builds up the pressure to get things done too soon through the day.

3. Stop Worrying

Do I have to mention this one? Why can we not take the new day as it is, New! We have such a reserve of worries which are half processed through the night that we start worrying as soon as we get up.

4. Stop being Negative

This is a powerful time to manifest, visualise, or to set intentions for the day do not cause yourself harm by being negative.

5. Don’t get involved in the drama

Well, there are phases, when a lot is going on in our lives or in the lives of people close to us. Sometimes, we are the compassionate listener and the other times we are ones discussing our problems. However, do not approach these issues in the first few mins of your day. No drama is more valuable than your mental health.

Though these practices are very easy, we often forget to implement them in our lives. If you are performing any of the above, I hope you find your way to work on it as your mental health and happiness comes first.

Your energy in the morning is a clean slate, and you get a chance each day to build it up the way you want.

I like to start my mornings by waking up to my favourite songs, stretching and paying gratitude to the universe each day. I like to stay quiet and not engage in conversations in the first 30 mins of the day. During this time, I prefer to have green tea, lime water or apple cider vinegar. This helps me in staying calm and think more clearly throughout the day.

Well that was my morning routine, what are things that help you in starting your mornings on the right note?

Lifestyle October 1, 2019

#1 Productivity Hack

Corporate life has taught me a lot of things, and one of them was to stay at the top of your game and to be more productive, you have to keep a journal/ list or tool to track your activities.

Then, I started trying different things to work on my goals for the day. From Wunderlist to Evernote, I tried multiple apps and excel files but it still wasn’t working for me. I just couldn’t get the stuff done because I would write everything on the list, then I would forget to read the list and will miss tasks then and now.

Gradually, I shifted from keeping a virtual task list to Sticky Notes, and I would completely fill my desktop’s corners with them. The good thing was that they worked, the faulty part was the space that they were using.

Finally, I started making a handwritten task list on a page, and I would not mark something off until I completed that particular task. And, it helped, and I use them till this date. They are one of the best productivity hack till now.

Here are some tips to create your own list

Take first 5 mins of your day and note down the things that you have to complete in the given day.

Be realistic, don’t burden yourself with too many tasks.

Be honest, if you haven’t completed a task on the given day move to the next day’s list.

Keep this list where you can easily see it through your day.

Review it, after the end of each day review your list and make sure all your tasks are completed.

Write it down yourself.

This was the main difference which made me more productive than I was. After writing the list in your own handwriting, you get a sense of investment and commitment towards your list. This hack has made me much more productive than I have been in my whole life.

Try this if you are struggling with managing multiple things at once and let me know your experiences and opinions in the comments below. Photo by Cathryn Lavery on Unsplash

Lifestyle October 1, 2019

6 Ways to Make your Life Lighter

Life can feel heavy at times, and if we accept it for too long, heaviness becomes a new normal in our life.

Many of us cling to the clutter in our life. The dress that we haven’t worn in a year, old books that we do not read anymore or those broken articles holding a place in our wardrobes in the hope of fixing.

Being attached to things that are not serving us any longer, takes up unnecessary space in our lives. It not only creates blockages in our storage space, but also blocks the energy flow of our life.

Get things fixed or let them Go

We often have a dysfunctional item in our rooms because it needs fixing and we will keep it in our drawers for months, in hope of getting it to work again. But, getting it mended never makes it in our to-do list. Raise your hands if you have been there, or are still guilty of it. This time, assign a specific day each week when you get to work on the items that require a repair.

Another challenge here is when an item keeps dysfunctioning again and again even after getting repaired multiple times. This time, take a day out in your week and let this item go.

The Clothes we won’t wear.

We keep holding on to clothes for more than we should, in the hope that we will get to wear them again. We might be expecting to fit into that size again or, waiting for the trend to come back. To live lighter, we have to let go of the clothes or things that are not right for us at this moment.

Detox your body

Take a day to cleanse your body. I would recommend one day per week but if you cannot, take one day in a month to purify your body. This can be done by adding fruits and juices as a major part of your food intake for one whole day. If you feel like you have to have a full meal, then prepare your dinner with a healthy salad. A single day of detoxing can make us feel lighter and fresh.

A No Complain Day

Take one day and carefully pick your words and statements; consciously choose not to complain about life. No comments like, ‘people are mean’, ‘we don’t have good food in the cafeteria’ or, ‘it is a boring day’. We use these sentences very frequently in our day. If we pay close attention to words we are saying and choose to not complain, just for one day, we can create lighter energy around us.

Get rid of relationships which do not add value to your life

If you are constantly giving your time to the empty conversations and your presence to the people who do not value it, then you need to detach yourself. Your time and energy are two precious aspects of your life, and spending them on the company which does not bring joy or happiness is a complete waste. Remove yourself from your friends, colleagues or relatives, who do not add positive value to your life and use that time in something that you find productive. This will be tough at first and might make you feel lonely, but it makes your life lighter.

Forgive

Forgiveness makes our heart feel lighter. Letting go of the thought of people who did you wrong, is a beautiful experience for your inner peace. Forgive each person who has caused you pain or sorrow. It may be difficult at first, but keep trying till you get there. I will soon be posting a different blogpost focusing on the ways you can forgive.

I hope that the dullness in your life may disappear using any one of the tips mentioned above. Or, If you have figured out your own ways of making your lighter let me know in the comments below.

Photo by Gian Cescon on Unsplash

Emotions October 1, 2019

Loving your Imperfect Self

How do you deal with the process of getting from where you are to where you want to be?

In a lot of cases, we do not participate in the process gracefully, which leads to an unhealthy transformation or an incomplete process.

We usually start our dissing our current self in order to get to the desired place.

Going from one state of existence to another involves a process.

This process needs to be completed from a place of love, or else it could give us unwanted results, or we may even end up leaving the process in the middle if it causes us grief.

Therefore, when you decide to develop yourself in a better person, you should not start hating your current self.

In the process of trying to lose weight, most of us start hating our bodies and follow the process with hatred towards ourselves, and punish our body for it. This creates an imbalance, and we may end up hurting our bodies in the process.

To learn any new skill you need a process. Remember when you decided to learn dancing, cooking, or singing, you followed a process. Did you judge yourself, or hate yourself when you did not know how to cook? Or dance? You just said that you will learn more and enhance your skill.

Did you start cussing yourself for being in ‘Grade 1’ on your way to graduation? No, right? So why do you put so much pressure on your imperfect self in the process of reaching to desired self?

Similarly, when we try to make more money, we start hating our current earning or existence. It creates an emotional gap in our connection to ourselves.

This emotional gap does not result in healthy transformation, and you are likely to get back to your old ways, or you may achieve the desired results, but you will not be in a happy place emotionally.

How would you react if someone asked you to do the right thing, forcefully? Their intentions may be nice, but how would you feel if a teacher punished you physically to achieve good grades?

We grow best in the in the places we feel loved.

When we are brought up in a loving environment where we feel trusted, we bloom the best. Having a partner who loves and trusts us, can bring out the best in us. We can be that partner for ourselves, we can love ourselves on this journey to become the best version of ourselves.

So when you want your body and mind to work with you in harmony, you have to give them love along the way. Thank yourself for choosing to take on this journey and for consistently evolving into a better person.

Loving yourself can make your transformation process a wonderful experience, rather than a torturous one.

So Love your imperfect self.