Mridula, Author at Mridula Singh

Lifestyle February 18, 2020

How to be happier at work

We spend a major part of lives at our workplace and if it is not the work we really love then it is difficult to be motivated or enjoy it each day.

So here are few tips to make those work hours happier than usual.

Most of the people that I work with are not usually the happiest in office. For those of you working in a corporate environment you know what I am referring to, people are mechanical and disconnected and it is hard to stay cheerful and happy in such an environment. Whether you have your own business, or work for a company; we can’t let happiness get away from us for 8 hours straight, can we?

1. Give Thanks

If you have the opportunity to work and contribute towards a business, be grateful. Even if you hate your job, there is a reason you are still working there, be it for money or to learn new work ethics. Pay your thanks right before you start working each day. It keeps you motivated for a few hours.

2. Avoid office gossips

It is a big ‘No’ if you want to keep your happiness intact. It is easy to fall into the trap of criticising a coworker behind their back. But, it can soon turn in to an exaggerated rumour you never expected to hear. Few people or colleagues, will only bond over gossiping, avoid such a company at all costs, being alone is better than being unhappy.

3. Practice mindfulness

mindfulness among the trees, how to be happier at work — This pic is to make you feel relaxed, it has nothing to do with mindfulness

No matter how hard you try some days will still be hard to handle. Work towards resolving such issues rather than letting it build up into something bigger. If your tough work day has no remedy, then,
– Check if your office has a quiet room or space where you can be alone.
– Leave your phone behind for 5 mins and practice deep breathing.
– If you can’t find a place alone, then take ten mindful breaths at your desk.
This takes away your attachment from the current scenario and makes you feel indifferent towards the situation. You can also practice conscious breathing while sipping your favourite beverage at work.

4. Make a to-do list

checklist to increase productivity and happiness

Make a list of activities that you are required to perform. It helps in keeping your mind from wandering here and there and focus on the tasks at hand. You get more done during the day and with more clarity. I prefer having handwritten list but you can choose according to your convenience.

5. Do not stay seated for more than 30 Minutes

If you have a desk job, you would be required to stay in one place for long hours, but to maintain your health and refresh yourself. Walk for a few minutes after you have spent 30 minutes sitting. You can have some water at this time, get some energy flowing through your body.

6. Do not say ‘Yes’ when you don’t want to

Sometimes, your colleagues might ask you to take up more tasks as a favour or help. While it is good to help others, it must never come at the expense of your balanced work schedule. Say yes only when you mean it. Learn to refuse politely to maintain a healthy balance of work. Many of the time, we take additional work and then complain about it in front of others. Creating healthy boundaries helps in maintaining peace of mind.

7. Use your support system

When nothing else works, that wonderful support system you have as a friend, family, or partner, get in touch with them.
My first corporate coach conducted one whole session on creating a strong support system that we can lean on in times of distress, and that advice has worked well in creating happiness at work hours too. On not so happy days instead of being upset about things and keeping them in. Make plans with your family or friends, have a nice dinner (home-cooked or dine out) together. If you live alone, call that one person whose name has just popped in your head. If you have a happy life outside of work, the work pressure is likely to reduce and you are going to show up happier at work.

8. Do not work when you are not at work

work only in the working hours to be happier at work

Many of us have a bad habit of checking our emails, even when we are not working. This leads to additional stress, and over time you will not be able to enjoy the hours when you are not working, because you have cultivated a habit of being available on emails on weekends too. Overworking is also an addiction.

9. Go out for a walk

Walks are so underrated, go out, and walk for at least 20 minutes, each day. It not only helps you physically it is also helpful in bringing in more peace. A 30 minute is good enough to start with,to be happier at work.

Hope this tips help you let me know below what are your hack to be happier at your work.

Meditation February 13, 2020

The most effective technique for Deep Breathing

Though there are many ways to practice deep breathing but the mentioned exercise bring out the best results and makes us more mindful. Here is the most effective Deep Breathing technique, which is also the easiest way to centre yourself.

Let’s begin

Sit comfortably on a chair

Roll your shoulders back

Relax your face

Keep your palms on your thighs facing upwards

Inhale while counting 1…2…3

Hold for 1…2…3

Exhale for 1…2…3

Repeat this for five times.

You can use this technique at the beginning of your meditation or to simply relax your mind.

Life January 18, 2020

The News, You and Compassion Fatigue

Hasn’t the news gone more worrying these days? We are subjected to constant hate and fear as long as the news channels are on. This could be the cause of increased compassion fatigue.

What is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion Fatigue is a state experienced by those helping people or animals in distress; it is an extreme state of tension and preoccupation with the suffering of those being helped to the degree that it can create secondary traumatic stress (STS) for the helper. – compassionfatigue.org/

It is often referred to as the cost of caring for people who are in physical or emotional pain.

This used to be common with people who were in the helping profession, but with too much going on in the world, many of us are facing compassion fatigue.

This can lead to a gradual lessening of compassion over time. When we see so many disturbing news, one after the other, we stop empathising after a while, as we don’t have time to process them individually. They just line up one after the other.

War threats
Australian fires
Climate change
Economic crisis
Inequality and discrimination
People being unusually hateful towards others

At times, I feel that I am too exhausted to care. The other times, I feel guilty of not doing my part by sharing about a cause on Social Media.

All this information used to stay in the News, but now it is with us each time we are on the internet. Each day brings a new heavy subject and makes me question the world that we are living in.

It is crucial to raise your voice on the problems that matter to you. But, if you are like me, the constant conflict of whether you are doing enough or not can drain you out.

Why is it important to have compassion?

You cannot have compassion for others if you don’t have it for your self.

‘Compassion gives us inner strength; it gives us self-confidence and that reduces fear, which, in turn, keeps our mind calm. Therefore, compassion has two functions; it causes our brain to function better and it brings inner strength.’
Dalai Lama

Staying in touch with your emotions helps you choose the right path, stay connected to the universe and with yourself.

How to know if it is Compassion Fatigue?

Depersonalisation
Hypersensitivity or complete insensitivity to emotional material
Identity, worldview, and spirituality impacted
Feeling burdened by the suffering of others
Chronic exhaustion (emotional, physical, or both)
Reduced feelings of sympathy or empathy
Feelings of irritability, anger, or anxiety

How to overcome Compassion fatigue?

Start with self-care

tea and poetry. Doing what you love helps decreasing compassion fatigue

Connect with your emotions and give time to yourself. You cannot care for others without taking good care of your own. Check-in with yourself on how you are feeling each day, and take the necessary steps to boost yourself if you are feeling low. You can listen to your favourite music, cherish your preferred drink, go to a beautiful place and just be with yourself.

Limit your news intake

girl reading news, avoid compassion fatigue

Do not stay glued to the news. If you want to stay updated, choose 15 minutes of your day to check up on news. Most importantly, don’t trust social media with the news, most of them are fake, please do a fact-check using websites like altnews.in before forming any opinions.

Talk to your loved ones

two women sitting and talking to each other

Call the friend who makes you feel better, talk to your partner, parents. It is healing to speak your mind with the ones you love. Even one conversation like this each day can help to reduce your stress levels.

Practice Mindfulness

Create a practice that makes you feel present and engaged in the moment. It could be meditation or some activity that you enjoy, like sports, painting, or any other form of art. Mindfulness helps in bringing awareness to your current state and takes the power away from overthinking, and constant chatter.

Recharge yourself

Eat well and workout to build resilience and recover yourself from ongoing chaos. Slow down and sleep well. Do not engage in social media right after waking up and right before sleeping.

If the symptoms are severe and persist after applying the above, please seek a therapist.
I hope this helps you if you are struggling with caring too much. Let me know your thought in the comment section below.

Lifestyle January 5, 2020

How to pursue your passion with a Full Time Job?

You are what your deep, driving desire is. As your desire is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny.
Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

The reason you are drawn to this post is that you have a desire to do what you love, but you do not know how or when.

Money and societal expectations makes our world go round. This is why we see so many people abandoning the things they love doing, for the things that provide a more steady lifestyle.

And, if you are like me you realise after a while what really speaks to your heart.

When you stop doing the things that you love, you bury a part of yourself. You teach yourself to be comfortable in a mediocre and monotonous life. Some of you might love painting, but you give yourself the excuse of time and responsibilities. This numbing of your desire to paint can cause you to not be at your utmost happy self.

From now on, we are going to refer to what you love doing as Bliss.
Not following our bliss in some, or the other way, makes us stray from our purpose, and then we compensate for that by showing off things and relationships to our peers.

It is always our bliss that brings the most happiness and contentment to our life.

These ways have helped me in writing my book ‘Live More: Magic begins with you‘, being the production manager for TMD Storyteller (Production House) and also creating yoga and well-being YouTube channel, Città Space.

So, if you are in a day job and cannot find time to work on your craft or you are already in one profession and trying to make a switch to the other one. Here are some tips, to help you pursue your passion with a full time job.

Question Yourself regarding your passion

1. Find your Motivation

We never give priority to anything, which makes us feel uninspired. Therefore, you need to find a sound reason to reason to work on your passion. Though, the word passion in itself means that you don’t need an additional push to work on it. But, if we are out of touch with our craft, it takes time to get back into the groove and start working towards it.
Find your answers to the following questions:
How do you feel when you are working on your bliss?
Are you a happier person when you are working on your bliss?
Why do you feel the need to pursue it?

Planner with roses and phone. planning schedule for your passion and full time job — Photo by Emma Matthews Digital Content Production on Unsplash

2. Take one day at a time

I would not suggest you to work on it each day if you are beginning after a long time. As it may feel overwhelming, and your excuses may make you give up on it once again. So, if you are only beginning, set aside an hour per week, in which you will be alone with your bliss. Work, read, or learn more about your passion during this one hour.
If you are working on it on and off, but can’t find the time to create something, then, create a reminder which you would be looking at each day. You can use a sticky note and write, Work on ____ today, stick it in a place you visit repeatedly (bathroom mirror, refrigerator, or wardrobe).

Giving time to your passion — Photo by Lukas Blazek on Unsplash

3. Invest Time

It doesn’t matter how strongly you feel about your passion, it does not help unless you invest time in it. You have to dedicate at least 30 minutes each day to your craft. And, if you think that you do not have those 30 minutes, then put your phone aside, and you will definitely find some. For anything to prosper, you will have to give it time. Treat these 30 minutes as an investment in yourself.

4. Be Consistent

Apart from giving it time, you will have to make sure that you are consistent. You cannot wait until one specific day to do the things you love. It is the same as Exercise the more you work out, the easier it gets for you to give one hour to exercise. Whether you are giving it one hour a day or a week, stay consistent.

5. Educate yourself

Take up an online course, read articles and books to know more about your Bliss. Learning more about your passion opens fascinating possibilities, it helps you sharpen your skills, and it also presents more challenges to your mind. You can enrol in classes if your schedule allows. This learning will further help you in being more confident about yourself.

woman stressed over deadlines from her full time job

6. Avoid pending work from Full-Time Job

You do not want any additional stress when you are managing your passion with regular work. It is necessary to not miss any deadlines or to wait for your deadlines to approach and worry about work, out of your working hours. These are the instances where you can lose your balance between the profession and passion. We need to minimise these situations by being punctual at our full-time job too.

Planning leaves with a calendar for your full time job to make time for your passion

7. Plan your leaves

Since you are in a full-time job and your leaves are accounted for, do not waste them on Monday Blues. Do not take leaves just because you feel like. Instead, build a schedule around your days so that you can utilise your leaves for the days you really need them or spend them with your bliss.

Mindfulness written on a paper — Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

8. Be Present

The essential part of balancing two separate types of work is to be in the moment. Do not think about what you will do in the time you give to your passion while you are at work. Do not think about your Job at the time assigned to your bliss. You may come up with ideas throughout the day, write them down, on your phone or journal, and look at them at the start of the time you dedicate to your Bliss.

Friends talking to each other — Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

9. Share it with Close ones

Share your Bliss with the people close to you and ask them for feedback. Closed ones have an unusual way of reminding us of what we are supposed to do with our time. Even little questions like, “ Hey! How’s the writing going? “ can make a difference. The people close to us can motivate us to work on our desire because, unlike your day job, you do not have a manager or supervisor to tell you what needs to be done or to give you the deadlines.

And so the adventure begins. Now you can pursue your passion with a full time job

10. Start right where you are

We spend so much time thinking that we are not ready enough to start it yet.
Once I get that promotion, I will have more money to pursue my passion.
Once I lose weight, I’ll begin working on my bliss.
As soon as I have more time…
Just start! Go ahead. Start working on the things you have been waiting for.

I hope you find the above tips useful. I have been able to finish a book, with a full time demanding job because of these methods. Let me know the Bliss that you are waiting to work on in the comment section below. If you have more useful tips, let me know.

Do the thing you love the most.

Life December 26, 2019

At my own pace | A year in Review

While the end of the year is the most beautiful of all; Sometimes, it brings along melancholy, a feeling that the whole year has gone by and you haven’t done anything significant. Maybe there are many resolutions still undone on your list. It can feel heavy and uninspiring.

2019 has been an overwhelming and in-comprehensive year.

Believe it or not, you have had many learning experiences in 2019. It may not be as great you thought, but you moved ahead.

I have a bad habit of rushing things. Until I don’t get the prominent things on my list done, I feel as if I haven’t done anything.

If I look back, on the surface, nothing really changed. But, if I look again and be more thoughtful, then a lot of things did.

(I’ll have to check my phone, for the record it has maintained during 2019)

I think that was a bad idea, as I could only find pics of various weddings I attended this year.

Let’s try again.

I shifted to a healthier lifestyle, I am now more aware of the nutrition my body needs.

Before this, I was more concerned about calories and maintaining weight; But now, I am more thoughtful about nutrition intake because I can see a shift in energy levels and overall health.

I started working on TMD Storyteller and Citta Space.

These two projects took most of the time of 2019. TMD Storyteller is a production house that brings life to the stories by turning them into movies, and Città Space is an initiative we started to promote wellbeing by yoga and meditation.

Next, I met amazing people and learned a little more about life.

It is amazing how every person you meet leaves some impact on you and alters the way you see life. To me, every person is a lesson and a part of our reflection. I met this amazing mother who works hard for herself and also focuses on the acting career of her two kids, and she has just started a new business, hats off to the time management skills. I met people who made me want to read more, learn more and express myself in different ways.

Felt super confident, doubtful, anxious and confident again.

Questioned my decisions, worried about the future, thought I will never get out of this, found serenity and balance again.

It was a rollercoaster, I have always been socially anxious and I do not enjoy public gatherings as much until they are with the people that I adore. Well in 2017, I learned that it is fun to meet new people and learn about their lives. But, when it comes to large gatherings and parties, I always have a hard time making the small talk, and this year was all about that because of WEDDINGS!!!! And, I felt as if I have no time for myself because of all this. Also, the project at my office was time-consuming and challenging. I started using a second bullet journal (I have two now), which makes it much simpler to get my mind together.

I decided to not be so hard on myself regarding timelines.

Had my highs and my lows like everyone else. This year was beautiful, and as it is ending, it is teaching me something new,

A new way of letting things go.

Each year brings its lessons, and to make space for the new ones, we have to let go of the things which are not serving us anymore. Feeling pain is part of my life, but holding on to that is a choice.

One thing that I am doing this year is, letting go of all the self-doubt, worries, and resentment I held on to this year, let New year bring the new ones (>_<).

It is not that the next year will be free of worries and hurt, but I will be happier with the new ones instead of digging up for the older ones. We can’t go much further emotionally without addressing the things which are still bothering us from the past. As it always the same lesson wrapped in a different color than before.

There are a few resolutions that I am still working on, and I will have to move them to 2020, but I am closer than I was before.

Rather than giving myself a timestamp of getting things done, I am working towards a more sustainable way of doing things. Where I can stay consistent and healthily work on my goals, not under the pressure of time is running out.

a carefree girl in field. — Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

If you feel that you have been missed this year completely, or got nothing done, take a good look, you might have received things or lessons to help you through it.

Lifestyle November 3, 2019

Law of Attraction, and How is it working for you?

Thoughts become things

We are what we believe we are.
C.S Lewis

one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day — Photo by Binti Malu from Pexels

Our thoughts attract the life we live in. This law was brought to mass attention by the book called The Secret. The Secret helped in coining the term law of attraction.

Whether you know about the law of attraction or not, it is always working for you.

What is the law of attraction?

In the New Thought philosophy, the Law of Attraction is the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life.

As per the Law of attraction, everything is energy, you are constantly attracting the circumstances that match your energy. If you think positively and have good thoughts all the time, you are likely to attract positive results. Similarly, if you focused on lack and negativity, then you will attract that into your life.

As I started noticing and practicing this law, I realized that all the major religions of the world were also preaching the same. All the rituals suggested in these religions, make us believe that we are inviting good events to take place, which eventually results in the desired results.

It is similar to the algorithm of Facebook or Google, if you are browsing a dress on a website, it will likely end up on your feed, or you will see similar Ads.

Briefly, we get what we attract.

So, why do unwanted things happen to us when no one wants them to happen?

A worried man with his laptop — Photo by Tim Gouw from Pexels

Here, is the fun part of the LOA, it is profoundly working on the way you feel. If you feel worried most of the time, you will observe that you have more things to worry about.

For example:

Do you remember facing heavy traffic when you were wishing to not be late for an event? When you keep thinking that you do not want to face a traffic jam on your way throughout the day, you are more likely to be stuck in the traffic jam. Because each time that you are talking about traffic, you are attracting it.

Focusing on ‘Not wanting XYZ‘ is going to attract XYZ.

Think about the language that you are using while attracting things into your life and re-frame it if situations are not working out for you.

How to make the Law of attraction work for you?

Image describes a happy girl practising Law of attraction positively — Photo by Vasyl Potochnyi from Pexels

We are constantly attracting people and events subconsciously. So, if you want to change the circumstances that you are in, you will have to make a shift in your thought pattern. You can also start with various meditations, visualization exercises, and vision boards. (I can create an entire handbook on tools and tips – let me know if you are interested)

Feeling is the key: If the things that you want to manifest will make you happy. You will have to start with feeling happy in the first place. You cannot complain about life and attract a good one at the same time.

To attract things that make you feel good, you will have to make efforts to think good.

But, I am doing everything right, feeling good, why is it not working for me?

Then, you need to heal yourself on an emotional level. Sometimes, we don’t see the problem on the surface, we merely check if we are feeling good at the moment. Ask yourself. If there are issues or feelings that you are not confronting yet. Are you trying to cover up your underlying emotions by asking yourself to ignore the unpretty parts of your life?

A happy self is not just putting on a smile, and thinking that everything is alright, it requires work. Happiness has to come from within; you cannot force it.

I hope this sheds some light on the way the Law of Attraction is working for us. I would love to hear your experiences with the LOA and how you manifested the things that you desired.

If you are still struggling with manifesting the things that you want, you can let me know in the comment section below.

Travel October 18, 2019

Trenitalia and story of the Lost Luggage

After spending our first day beautifully in Italy, its train system warmly welcomed us by taking our luggage…Away.

Here is how it all happened.

Piazza San Marco, Venice. This is where we lost out luggage. — Piazza San Marco, Venice

We took the train from Venice to Florence, and we decided to keep our luggage in the luggage designated area. Little did we know, that it is the last place you should think of while keeping your luggage. Right after Venice, there was the train station of Mestre, and we decided to check if our bags are okay. And, to our surprise, one of the big trolley bags was gone. After 2 hours of complaints and searching on the train, we got to understand that it is a norm in Trenitalia.

I wasn’t completely upset by the loss because we were in Italy, and it is so beautiful that you forget about such trouble. Luckily, we did not keep our important documents or cash in the bag we lost. Around 8 PM, we got out of the train at Florence and went on our way to the station (train station) police to get a written complaint.

Policemen refused to write the report as we did not have any valuable or traceable items in the bag. That was disappointing, and it was 9 PM now, so we decided to leave and check in to our hotel.

But we were in Italy

After spending two days in Florence, we proceeded to Rome.On our way back from Rome, we decided to ask a police officer if we could get any help in this situation and told him the story of our lost bag. The policeman was very helpful and he insisted that we report it. However, due to a long queue at the police station, and waiting in line for almost 25 minutes, we realised that we would miss our train to Naples if we kept waiting there.

Well! Hello Naples,

After arriving at Naples train station, we met a very helpful man, who was working at the customer query’s counter. His name was Mr. Loris, so Mr. Loris heard us out and tried his best to get us some help. He accompanied us to Trenitalia’s station office, to the lost and found counter, even to the ‘Polizia di Stato Napoli’. Here, the policeman made several calls to Mestre and Venice’s station and no update was obtained of our lost bag, till this time we were so hopeless that we did not even ask him to write a report for us. Anyway, the policeman guided us on being safe taking precautions while travelling.

By this time, Mr. Loris has given us the names of all the happening places, and food outlets. He asked us to give a try to the restaurant named ‘Mimi’. After that whenever we asked, or told anyone in Naples our plans of having dinner at ‘Mimi’, we got a positive response, and suddenly I was the smartest person I knew. Ha!

We never made it to Mimì alla Ferrovia, but you know where to go for a good meal when you are in Naples.

Well, well, well. We never got the bag back, and after Naples, we didn’t even care because we were in Italy, and it is so beautiful that it can make you forget anything.

So, here’s what I learned from this incident:

Never keep your bag out of sight when you are on a train. If you don’t find a seat near the luggage counter then, sit on your bag. Just kidding. Usually, you can keep the cabin bags near your seat.
Police will help you if are persistent.
Do not keep valuable items in the luggage bag, keep them in your handbag or jackets, as close to you as possible.
If you lost your luggage in Italy, you probably will never get it back.
Live in the now, do not let little things take focus away from the beautiful journey.
Always get a hotel which is near H&M, Primark or Zara (just kidding).

Silver Lining: We had two big trolley bags + one cabin bag, and it was slowing us down. After losing one of them, we saved a lot on the travelling time and extra hassle. Now, we pack minimal stuff while travelling.

Last time when I visited Italy, I told everyone that you leave a part of yourself in Italy as you get lost in its Magic. This time I can say that you lose a part of yours in Italy, for real.

Lifestyle October 1, 2019

5 Things to Stop doing after Waking Up

Mornings are full of people trying to go to their workouts, jobs, and preparing for the day. No doubt that all this is not easy to accomplish in the first few hours of the day, we all need more time, right?

Mornings are supposed to be a fresh start, but many of us do not understand the importance of this time. The first hour of our day determines how the rest of the day is going to play out.

If you would have noticed, when you wake up in a rush to get things done, the whole day feels rushed out and similarly and when you wake up with worries the remaining day feels heavier.

Not acknowledging the first hour of the day is like taking life for granted.

Here are 5 things you need to stop doing in the first 15 mins of your day

1. Stop Scrolling

This is a big one, we are so habitual of looking at our phones that as soon as our day starts our social media life begins. This is unhealthy on so many levels. The first thing you want to do is to look at what others have posted? This increases our chances of being anxious through the rest of the day.

2. Stop with your task list

Yes, you are busy and do not have much time to waste but breathe for a while before taking on to the next thing. This builds up the pressure to get things done too soon through the day.

3. Stop Worrying

Do I have to mention this one? Why can we not take the new day as it is, New! We have such a reserve of worries which are half processed through the night that we start worrying as soon as we get up.

4. Stop being Negative

This is a powerful time to manifest, visualise, or to set intentions for the day do not cause yourself harm by being negative.

5. Don’t get involved in the drama

Well, there are phases, when a lot is going on in our lives or in the lives of people close to us. Sometimes, we are the compassionate listener and the other times we are ones discussing our problems. However, do not approach these issues in the first few mins of your day. No drama is more valuable than your mental health.

Though these practices are very easy, we often forget to implement them in our lives. If you are performing any of the above, I hope you find your way to work on it as your mental health and happiness comes first.

Your energy in the morning is a clean slate, and you get a chance each day to build it up the way you want.

I like to start my mornings by waking up to my favourite songs, stretching and paying gratitude to the universe each day. I like to stay quiet and not engage in conversations in the first 30 mins of the day. During this time, I prefer to have green tea, lime water or apple cider vinegar. This helps me in staying calm and think more clearly throughout the day.

Well that was my morning routine, what are things that help you in starting your mornings on the right note?

Emotions October 1, 2019

From Expectance to Acceptance…

When I was in school, we were asked to say the serenity prayer which included the beautiful lines

‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change and the courage to change the things I can’.

Now when I read these words, they make much more sense to me than they did before as most of the times the reason for our distress is worrying about the things we can’t change. This one line is also the best lesson for creating Inner Peace.

Just think of it. If we could stop worrying about the things we can’t change how different will our mental state would be. Think about the issues that are bothering you the most right now.

Most of the times we are stressing over things which are out of our hands as if worrying about them will magically make them go away. There are also regrets from the past and the worries of the future which takes a lot of room in our mind.

This not only applies to the circumstances. Many of the times, we feel negative or upset because of the behaviour of the people around us. If we could accept them for who they are, it will ease our misery.

Accepting others for who they are

We find ourselves struggling with the negativity we get from the actions of others because we expect them to behave differently. But, you can only find peace if you choose to stay away from them or accept them for who they are. If you stay in the middle and expect the others to act the way you want them to then you are inviting more hurt in your life.

If we start counting our reasons to be stressed the things that we cannot control will outnumber the things we can control. Stressing about something before it actually takes place, makes you go through it multiple times instead of once.

Now, if you are in a similar situation and are worrying about the things which are out of your control then practice the following:

1) Close your eyes and take a deep breath

2) Start by forgiving all the people who hurt you

3) Think about the obstacles which are bothering you and imagine them in the form of balloons that you are holding.

4) Now gradually let go of these balloons one by one and watch them shrinking as they float away.

5) Acknowledge that you are giving these away, and now it is up to Universe to take care of them.

6) Give thanks to the Universe (or something / someone that you acknowledge to be the higher power).

7) Accept the present and let the universe take care of you.

Repeat this exercise each time you are aware of the nonacceptance which is causing you to stress.

Emotions October 1, 2019

The worst friend I’ve had

Not a long time ago, I had a very close friend who continually kept reminding me of all the mistakes that I have ever made in my life.

She never let me feel good about myself for a long time. Each time I was ready for a big event or started to feel good, she would remind of my imperfect body or how I was not pretty enough to feel this way.

She would go out of her way to compare me with the girls she saw on magazines, and she had a big problem with how I wasn’t successful, beautiful, and talented enough.

You would be wondering, why would I put up with her after all this?

Have you had such a friend in your life? That one friend, for whom you were never adequate?

Photo by **Juan Pablo Arenas** from **Pexels**

For me, that friend was my inner voice and how it would regularly remind me of my failures. It is funny how we look around for excuses, but the only person to be blamed for our unhappiness is ourselves.

We are so critical of ourselves that we cannot even stand in front of the mirror for more than 25 seconds without pointing out the flaws in our bodies. We are our worst frenemies, always there to remind ourselves of the things we could not do.

We tend to think that the presence of someone else in our life will make it better. It will make us happier or give us the validation that we are seeking.

A few years ago, I made a promise to myself that I will love myself endlessly and will always be there to pick up the pieces each time I will fall apart. My perception of looking at life transformed after making that promise.

No longer was I wishing to feel accepted, because I accepted and loved myself for all that I am.

I started making more mindful choices about the friendships and relationships I had.

Once I was ready to accept myself completely, it got easier for me to accept people for who they were. It made it easier for me to let go of the people who were toxic or did not respect my boundaries, without keeping a grudge or negative attitude towards them.

If we are not kind to ourselves, we will continue to have people in our circle who would keep making us feel guilty and drained.

People come and go, but in the end, it is our relationship with ourselves, which dictates our relationship with the people around us.

Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas from Pexels